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| The romance is over. Gabby and I finally decided to call off our pursuit of each other. It's been awhile in the coming, but it was a pretty civil talk, over the phone, and we'd both been thinking it needed to happen. She still really liked me and I definitely loved being in relationship with her still, and I will miss her quite a bit, but this needed to happen. This is what i said to her after she mentioned us not able to be friends afterwards, "I agree. We have a really hard time being just friends. But that doesn't mean we have to be enemies either. I will look at you and see a girl that I spent a lot of my time with over the past year, a girl that I had a lot of good times with and learned a lot from and have great memories of. There are tragedies of life when some people simply cannot be good friends because, if they are, they will want to get together and be more, and they know that it would be unwise to do so. We are just like that. We don't have to be enemies."
I really hope she doesn't become my enemy. I think she's wonderful, I just don't think we're meant to be together.
We had a great month and a half, a great 'honeymoon' stage. We never labeled it, and it's probably a good thing we didn't, but that doesn't mean it wasn't super-important to me, and it doesn't mean I didn't care. I cared. So much. I still do care, just in a different way.
Time marches on.
Yours in Christ,
James | | |
| My doctrine of the church follows in brief. The church is the universal body of believers throughout time and space. The local church is a community of people seeking truth through the multiple witnesses of Jesus Christ, the Holy Spirit, and Father God Yahweh as revealed through the Bible and the entirety of Christian history. The church should be intensely interested in the both the physical and the spiritual needs of those whom it encounters. The church should provide a haven for those who are oppressed, counsel for those who are distraught, material supplies for those who are in need, spiritual training for those who are seeking to grow in their faith, friendship and fellowship for all, and continuous, unconditional love for all of creation, both sentient and non. The responsibilities of the church are not only to those made in God’s image, but to any and every thing which bears the mark of the creator. As God’s stewards, it is our task to restore creation to its intended order, naturally, politically, and in our individual relationships. The church is to reach the lost, heal the hurting, mend the broken and right wrongs, both spiritually and physically. Through compassion and forgiveness the church needs to seek ways to purposefully interact with the world outside the doors of the church building, to meet the world on its own territory, to value all cultures and seek to implement them into itself (instead of preaching one culture as belonging to the church), and to constantly evaluate and test its own effectiveness in reaching these stated tasks. The church is to be the image, bride, and tool of Christ in this world. | | |
| What the crap is going on?
Three nights in a row? Hanging out? Getting along? Having fun? Talking about the past and understanding each other? Recognizing change? Repeating the past, or not?
Three nights in a row Gabby and I have hung out substantially (for hours and hours). And during the day we're texting, more each day. It's actually been really nice.
And it kinda came completely out the blue, after I sent a text a few days ago asking if she wanted to get together casually sometime to catch up. Then this.
Tonight we were going to go to the fair but it was raining so we just went thrifting and then to Cuppies and Joe for a little bit instead. I'm glad she had a crimson card..cause we got a free extra cupcake! haha.
We'll see what happens. The campus/our friends is starting to wise-up and figure out that we're talking/hanging out a lot, and it's already been kinda hard/weird trying to explain things. A lot of stuff is being assumed and people are getting their feelings hurt unnecessarily. I hope this doesn't cause any unneeded (ie: any) drama.
Had a good prayer tonight. I really hope things go the way God would have them go, regardless of what that might be. | | |
| I want to fall in love again. | | |
| Isn't it sad that something that once made you smile can now make you want to cry? It really isn't very fair, and the moment you realize the truth of it, you want to fight against it. But there is no fighting. For whatever reason, the meaning you once attributed to this thing (be it a movie, a song, a poem, a name, or even an actual person) is now forgotten, or at least only a memory, and a new meaning has replaced it. Maybe this is one of hurt, of sadness, anger, bitterness, confusion, or longing, or maybe of some specific memory, but it hurts. After dramatic changes in our lives, these things seem to be everywhere. After a breakup, it seems like every song you hear was once sung, listened to, or burned onto a cd for your previous flame. After a death, it seems like every room of the house and every possesion you have somehow connects back to your loved one. In both scenarios the person feels alone, sad, and as if a piece of them is now missing. The good news? Eventually it gets better. "Time heals [nearly] all wounds." | | |
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