The Road Goes Ever On and On

Even after only one full day home, I kinda miss the road. Not exactly knowing what is coming next. Seeing something new every morning, almost always something you've never seen before, and might never see again.
My life is of course still moving, and in what direction exactly I don't know. In that sense, as is true with all of our lives, J.R.R. Tolkien was right in saying the road goes ever on.

I have wanderlust deep within me. I might always.

I propose a toast. To the road. To the walking trails and the seaside paths, the mountain passes and desert wastes. To the highways and byways, untamed forests and treacherous waters. To the void of space. Wherever life and destiny takes us as individuals and as a species: May the Road Go Ever On, and On.

To you, John Ronald Reuel Tolkien, and to you, friend and reader. And To me.

Roads Go Ever On

NYC and Roadtrip Part 1

As I write this I am sitting at a table in the apartment of my friends' brother, in Queens, New York City. We've been here since yesterday afternoon, after driving from a place in mid-Pennsylvania where Brad and I camped out in the van. It's been a decently interesting trip, although parts have been underwhelming. I've always wanted to come to NYC, and as one of (if not THE) most important cities in the world, I'm really glad I'm finally getting the chance to visit. We will actually be here until Monday (2 or so days longer than originally planned) because the Chinese embassy no longer does one-day visa turnovers. That's the reason Brad and I are here to begin with. Brad is going on a world-wide trip in a few days, and he needs a Visa to enter China, and they told him he had to come to their embassy here to get it. So, even though the roadtrip officially ended in Chicago about 4 days ago, we packed up again and headed out here. So far we've seen a little bit of queens, where Jeff lives, and a good chunk (though probably not even 1/5) of Manhattan. And tonight we drove to Brooklyn to pick up a couch for Jeff at an Ikea, since we have a van we could use to get it here and he wouldn't have to pay to ship it back. Tomorrow or Sunday I'm hoping to see some other parts of the City, like Brooklyn Bridge, the 9/11 memorial, and some of the other boroughs. Maybe Staten Island, for instance, since the ferry to it is free.

The roadtrip went well. I should've written more during it, but that's alright. Hopefully I can sum it up here, and maybe the details will come back to me then. 
We started off in Cincinnati, and drove until we got to St. Louis. There we stayed with Brad's 2nd cousins, who live there, and they were super fun. The next day we drove across all of Missouri and Kansas. We stopped in Kansas City for lunch, where I got to see Jon Platter and Janette. It wasn't a long visit, but it did my soul well to see Jon. Late that night we arrived in Denver, where my old Professor Kevin Archer welcomed us into his home. We talked economics and politics, his soon-to-come move and our remembrances of Vienna for awhile, and then went to bed. The next morning was Easter, but we slept in and talked to Kevin and his family for quite a while, until around 1 I think. Then we headed to my old children pastors' and friends house, Mark Lingle. Brad and I got lunch and then Mark took us up into the mountains close to Denver. We got to see this awesome ampitheatre and a lot of the surrounding mountains, including the continental divide. He brought us back in early evening, and then Brad and I went downtown, to walk around and see what we could see. It was a pretty city.

The next day we drove to see my friend Bethany Warnock, who took us around Colorado springs and Manitoba springs, showing us some really fun and eclectic little places, and Red Rocks park, which was also really cool. We ended the night by driving to Great sand Dunes, catching it right as sun was setting. We slept in the van (a really rough night, first time sleeping in it so we didn't set things up right, and didn't have enough blankets) and woke up to explore the dunes the next day. They were really amazing. So tall, and vast, despite looking small in comparison with the giant mountains rising up behind and the vast valley spread out before them.

We ended the day by driving to Durango, Colorado, passing through some really fantastic scenery in southern Colorado and Northern New Mexico on the way. We looked around the quaint town and slept in our first hostel. The next day took us to Mesa Verde, where we were awed by our first real canyon. It was amazing to me, looking back how much we were taken aback by that canyon, the first of many, many, many we would see on this roadtrip. We took dozens of pictures of it, on it, looking down into it. Granted, we did have a really awesome viewpoint of it, on some rocks that seemed to peek out over a giant precipice, but we would later learn how true is the phrase, "familiarity breeds contempt". In Mesa Verde we saw some ancient Native American buildings and villages, but both were a little underwhelmed. Half of the park was still closed to us because of the season, and we felt short on time as it was. All the same, it was a place I have always wanted to go, and I'm very glad we did. We headed out of Mesa Verde to drive as far as we could that night, hoping to hit Shiprock, the four corners, and make it nearly to the Grand Canyon.

We achieved two of those goals. By nighttime we had passed "amazing" tuba city (an inside joke for the rest of the trip between Brad and I, tuba city was not a city at all, barely a medium sized town, but it was surrounded by nothingness on all sides for soooo long, that the signs had been pumping up the place for over a hundred miles), and found an okay but overpriced hotel in Cameron- which was a 'town' (4 buildings all within 100 yards of each other) built around one of the oldest trading posts, back in the Westward expansion days, and now kept surprisingly nice due to Grand Canyon tourism dollars. On the way there we had stopped at the 4 corners monument, in the middle of Navajo country and a vast, desolate desert. The wind was cruel, and we actually had to drive through a ferocious sandstorm for a number of miles. We decided to skip shiprock, partially because it was out of the way and we were running shorter on time than anticipated, and partially because we were seeing all kinds of amazing and beautiful rock sculptures already. One park, Monument Valley, we drove along the outside of, but the light was fading quickly and we couldn't go in. It seems like a place that would be worth visiting again someday.

The next day was the Grand Canyon. What can you say about the Grand Canyon? I really wish I hadn't seen so many pictures of it my entire life. I felt inundated with the images of never-ending canyon. In fact, when I went to the Grand Canyon and saw it with my own eyes, it seemed as if I was looking at just another picture. My explanation of this, however, is that the real thing itself is so mind-boggling, huge, and incomprehensible that it's impossible to really 'take in'. Whereas one giant canyon, maybe 2000 feet deep, but with a definite end within sight, inspires awe, this 'Grand" Canyon had no visible end. At most places we couldn't see the bottom. We had no visual references except for the occasional gravity-defying bush growing out of the rock. It was beautiful, but for me, it was almost TOO beautiful. There was no way for me to actually appreciate it.
About halfway through our visit there we decided to hike down for a ways. The awful thing about canyons, in my mind, is that you have to hike down FIRST. In almost all other circumstances in my life, the climb UP comes first, so you always know when you have to turn around and come back. The Grand Canyon, however is the opposite. It's easy to go down (relatively speaking), so you actually have to really pay attention not to go down too far. It's hell coming back. All of that being said, our 2 1/2 hours or so spent on the Angel Trail was the only thing that made it possible for me to even begin to appreciate the real size and grandeur of the Grand Canyon. I think if I had the time and athleticism, I would really really like to hike the whole thing down, and I suppose I would have to hike it back as well (haha, even though I would rather hike a different way back to get new perspectives). I think that's the only way I would ever really be able to appreciate the Grand Canyon.

That night we drove to Page, Arizona. We stayed at a hotel and the next day explored the area around Page and drove to our next stop. We saw beautiful bridges over the Colorado River, the Glen Canyon Dam, HorseShoe bend, and even climbed a pretty giant sandstone formation the jutted from the earth in a sculpted valley next to the lake. Most of the pictures from that day, and every day before that, ended up being lost, along with the pictures from the following week, although the story behind why has to wait until next time.

We ended the night staying at a little hotel not too far from Zion National Park, in Utah, with a man named Wayne acting as manager. And I think that's where we will pick up again.

 Yours In Christ,

James

Back in Ohio

Tomorrow morning I am leaving on a roadtrip with my good friend and ex- brother-in-law brad. We will be going through several states, Canada, many great cities, and at least a couple national parks. we should be back in about a month. I'm partially excited, and partially bothered. This trip sounds fun, but right now I'm finally getting used to be in a different state, with different people. I'm also unemployed, and while that sounds fun, I've already been unemployed for 4 weeks (almost all of which I spent sick, traveling, packing, or more than one of the above). It's been a frustrating and tumultuous time. I did not get to say goodbye to my old home the way i would've liked to, mostly because of my illness, and actually left the state feeling completely defeated. One of my closest friends, Molly, is no longer talking to me and may never talk to me again, on top of everything else. She is doing this because after hearing that she was essentially beyond a shadow of a doubt going to marry her fiance' (she has been uncertain for some great length of time), I decided I had to act. He is abusive, or at least has been multiple time in the past, and as far as I knew I was the only person that knows, and I live hundreds of miles away. I felt like someone she loves and trusts, close to home, needed to know to make sure it didn't happen again. Or at least if it did happen again, this way someone else would know close by to watch for the signs. I told her sister and her father, through facebook messages. I knew she would hate me for it. But I also thought, with all my heart, that it had to be done. He sent her to the hospital twice, for goodness' sake. I didn't hear back from either of her family members, but apparently all he** broke lose in her family. Since she isn't really talking to me I don't know what happened, but I just have to hope that I did the right thing.

So yeah, not a lot of punctuation or time put into this blog, I just wanted to update because it has been so so stinkin' long. I still love xanga, but I guess I have to start using it again if I want it to be worth anything as a journal.

I miss writing. A lot. Reading that short story tonight and writing a criticism of it helped me to remember that. Maybe I will write another shorty story on this road trip. Or start a novel. Or continue working on the one I started 3 years ago. I'm not sure. All I know is, I miss writing.

I also miss OKC already. My life there, my roommate and friends there, my jobs, even. That life is gone now, and it was such a real and meaningful part of my life. I feel like I am in limbo right now, and I really really do not enjoy it.

God, lead me where you would have go. And help me to be proactive in seeking that out. I have the faith, now help me have the action.


Yours,

James 

The life and work of Professor Roy Millen

The Life and Work of Professor Roy Millen is the title of a short story I just read tonight by Robert Penn Warren, the Pulitzer prize-winning author of All The Kings Men, (which I have not yet read).

It was a short, yet intriguing piece. The main character, Professor Millen, led a disenchanting life, has a wife that dies, and then denies a young and hopeful student a strong recommendation, which the student deserves, before the story abruptly ends. Looking for discussion as to why the character might do this (he does not seem a negative person in any other light in the story, and genuinely seems to like and want to help the boy before he changes his mind), I went online. To my dismay, there was NOTHING that I could find on the subject. On one website someone had asked a question about the story, but no one had given any answers.
So, with the book fresh on my mind, I decided to do a little ad-lib book discussion. I haven't really done this since Freshman year of college, or to any great degree since Senior year of Highschool. All the same, literature and literary criticism is a love of mine, so this is what I wrote. Now, if anyone else ever looks up info on this story, they will probably be directed here. :)

(original link is http://www.bookrags.com/qa/viewanswers.php?thread=9770)


Question: Which parts can we divide the story''The Life and Work of Professor Roy Millen''into?

First we discover the man's devotion to his late wife. Second, his humble and dissatisfying life before the meeting of his wife, and his ascent to a less modest life afterwards/coincidingly. Third, his sense of undeserved and ashamed happiness at now being able to write his book, despite his wife's death. He now has his own freedom and his own life, and is in a position to enjoy what he has, without her domination of it, as she has dominated everything in his life since getting married.
The story changes and we meet his young student, Tom, who requests a recommendation to study and work in France for a year. Prof. Millen gets excited and happy to recommend him, after all, Tom is one of the best, if not THE best, student he's ever had. Tom continues talking a bit more about how 'swell' his parents have been, how he has visited Paris once before ("but only for fun") and how he wants to get his PHD as well once he returns.
While Prof Millen continues to chit-chat, his happiness is gone. Tom realizes his professor seems disinterested and excuses himself. 
Millen begins to dictate a glowing recommendation to his secretary, and then cuts himself off and excsuses her. Next he writes a recommendation that barely deserves the term. Shiften from calling the young man patient and a 'true scholar' to saying he does 'not have the philosophical bent' and calling him, essentially, shallow.  Then the story ends.

The real question is "why?" Does Prof. Millen simply change his mind about the boy? Doubtful, considering after 'years' of being a pupil, one would not expect a professor to change his mind within a few seconds of hearing only a few extra details of the boys past.

Why, then? My theory, and it is only an idea because I cannot find any sources on the internet about this story, is that the recent change in Millen's life has caused him to change. In his own life he got no outside help. He was only given a job because someone was sick, and then died. His wife was 'plain', and 'dominated' him, but now that she is gone he is going to go away to write a book, and do other things solely for himself. He is obvious deciding to change who he is to reflect his new situation. Is he not also evaluating his own past life? He is.

So then, there are two reasons he could be writing this letter in a way which will not help his 'best student' Tom. He could be either. A) trying to save Tom from some kind of fate which would not be good for him (being 'knocked off his feet' in paris, perhaps...or perhaps getting his PHD at all?), or B) he could be spiteful at the boys seemingly glowing life up to this point, and denying him a wonder which he himself never got to experience (Millen has never been to Paris, despite telling Tom that he had).

I'm not sure. but those are my ideas.

-James 

One of the worst weeks ever.