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| I really just want to survive this week.
Since Saturday morning I've done (almost literally) nothing but eat, sleep, meetings, and study (in ascending order of time). I've read something like 300 words of Academic material, written thousands of words in responses, notes, and reviews, and I am not quite caught up yet.
But I was still proud of myself, for I did a ton of work.
Then, Monday, a day I also had to spend all day in the library, finishing two assignments due that day/night, I found out that by Friday I also have more on my plate that I did not know about. Quite a bit more. All for Doctrine of Holiness.
An exegetical paper for the entire Old Testament. A 3-6 page paper on all 4 of the Maccabees (Inter-testamental books), which I also have to read before I can write the paper. And then I have to finish our textbook in that class and do assignments over each chapter. That's over a hundred pages, and that textbook is DRY. All of this by Friday.
On top of this, I have (of course...cause it's still a normal week) assignments for other classes as well. A quiz in Modern Latin America on Wednesday, Two assignments in Methods of Historical study (due Wed. and Fri.), and then normal class readings in my other classes.
I just want to make it through. I want to make it through and do well.
But I just don't know if there is physically enough time to do everything I have to do. | | |
| I've been listening to Relient K's most recent album, Forget and not Slow Down, quite a bit recently. Some of my favorite stuff of theirs is on here (and I have most of their cds). Great songs spiritually and musically. Some of them talk about the amazing beauty and joy in relationships, and some talk about trouble in those relationships. About a month or so ago I nearly burned a CD for a particular girl who had been in my life for a year with several of these songs on it, the ones about how great relationships can be.
And now I can no longer listen to those songs...and I'm listening to the other ones. The ones like "Part of it" and "Therapy" and "This is the End"
These are probably some of the healthiest songs I've ever heard...at least when it comes to songs you could listen to after a breakup.
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This was a weird weekend. Slept mostly in 4-5 hour increments, spent 7-8 hours this Saturday morning-afternoon with the kids bible quiz team at a quiz meet since i'm one of the coaches. Couldn't fall asleep until 7am Sunday morning, and so I couldn't get up for church and pastor lisa understood graciously. Worked all weekend on school work, reading nearly a hundred pages in Matthew and Mark, about 50 in Modern Latin America, and probably around 70 in New Testament Theology. After all of that...I'm still behind. Luckily not by very much, but still.
Also, Friday was Heartpal. It was fun (I went with a group of all girls (friends) and it was at the art museum), but it was hard towards the end. I had no one to spend the rest of the night with, would've loved to have gone with Gabby and gotten all dressed up with we were still together, and even though I'm glad we're not and I know that this is the direction God is having me go in life, it's not always easy. Anyone who has gone through a similar situation understands that. The heart doesn't let go as quickly as the hand does. Friday night, to keep my mind off things, I stayed up until 4 finishing the AWESOME video game Mass Effect 2, playing in Ryan Nathan and Johns room in Snowbarger. This game is one of the reasons i'm behind in my schoolwork to begin with. It's a huge game, and I think I logged over 45 hours on it in the past 2 1/2 weeks. haha. I'm glad that I finished it, because now I know how the story ends (it is heavily driven by story-line...which is one reason I love it so much, I love a good story), I can feel free to do homework for hours without the twitch to play more and figure out how it ends.
Here are the lyrics to "Part of It"
I've been working with adhesives
Chains and locks and ropes
with knots to tether
But nothing's taking to the pieces
I can't seem to hold it all together
But you should know
Cause that explains why it
all just fell apart
It's not the end of the world
Just you and me
And we're a part of it Everyone
We're a part of it Everything
And if a nightmare ever does unfold
Perspective is a lovely hand to hold
Well I've been trying to ingest this
But everything to me just
seems like nonsense
And I'm not sure if I can get it
I guess its time for me to
grow a conscience
To combat the lapse
That explains why all of
this simply collapsed
It's been forever since I've gone
But I'm the Cusack on the
lawn of your heart
May be forever 'til I go
But before then you should
know that I could tear that
place apart
And I swear this to you
I wish that this was not the truth
But it's something that you fell into
And crawling out is hard when you
Are not so sure it's what you want to do
Not convinced it's what you want to do
It's just the weight of the world
Giving out under the string
But we're a part of it Everyone
We're a part of it Everything
And when a nightmare finally does unfold
A nightmare finally shows
it's not the end of the world
Just a calamity
And we're a part of it Everyone
We're a part of it Everything
And when a nightmare finally does unfold
Perspective is a lovely hand to hold
And here are the lyrics to my other favorite one right now- it's absolutely amazing
"This is the End"
I can't keep a straight face and say this is not the end
not if you want it its upon us and I wanna say it's sinking in
This may sound crazy but I want to come back home
that's it I said it now I'm sailing off
to Neverland and then Japan
So think real slow
don't forget that yes is yes and no is no
About the way you want to go
Cause I may forget the way to get back home
This is the end if you want it
You're not the first thing in my life I've loved and lost
Yeah I've thought worse things that I might be less
inclined to merely just shrug off
I took the fire escape and made it out alive
Yeah I still burn from time to time but I've
a healing hand against my side
So think real slow
don't forget that yes is yes and no is no
About the way you want to go
Cause I may forget the way to get back home
This is the end if you want it
This is the end if you want it
and this is the end.
Yours in Christ,
James | | |
| http://serenenazarenes.blogspot.com/
Check it out. 
-James
P.S. 2nd post is a doozy, but the first one is pretty short and will explain what the purpose behind the blog is. :) | | |
| In this world of marriages and civil unions and high divorce rates and sex scandals etc....one thing is more obvious than ever-
Everyone is looking for somebody to love.
It's obvious that there are major problems with the ways people go about doing this, but in one regard we can adamantly blame the system and the system only: there is no way for us to be joined, for life, with a friend whom we wish to be made a part of our family and our lives permanently.
So I'm proposing a solution: we need to form a new kind of Civil Union.
My roommate is a wonderful human being named Jon. No, I am not gay, but I would love the chance to be joined to this man in a life-time commitment of genuine friendship. It would be a platonic, non-sexual 'marriage', if you would like to call it such, where we vow to be there for each other and perhaps hug at the end of the ceremony. In this type of relationship, they would thereafter officially be a brother or sister...or another term of your choosing.
I think this need to become a reality, especially because for those of us with smaller families or a lack of siblings this could be a chance to really extend our family and/or learn to partner with someone else in a special way. I'm sick of hearing "we're BFFs!" Really? Prove it! Get a Civil Union with them!
Also, friendship is something that I think is often taken for granted. We treat the people around us, and even friends, as if they are disposable and unimportant. Although there will always exist friendships of convenience, if we had a civil union for friendship there might be put an emphasis upon friendship that right now doesn't exist. Just as dating relationships can be very important because there is at times a final goal in mind (marriage) best friendships could also take on a new significance if there was a 'final' point one could reach.
Perhaps even whole families could perform this function on a family friend whom they would like to "adopt" into their family as an "uncle" or "neice" or "daughter" or "son". They could collectively enter into a civil union with this un-related person. Right now the only way for this to happen is for an actual 'adoption' to take place from the parents to a younger person, or for someone to marry-in to the family. This is a very sad fact! These two processes leave out so many people. I have parents, (and they are good parents!), but I would still love to be legally connected to another family as well! Especially if I don't marry, or if the person I do marry ends up having a small family.
Although I doubt any of this will ever happen, I would really love to see it become a possibility.
Faithfully Yours,
James | | |
| I was standing in line at wal-mart the other day and saw a pack of zebra gum lining the checkout aisle. Without thinking i picked it up. I felt happy to be spending my scarce money on this piece of merchandise that, for a moment, made me feel like a little kid again. I went back to my apartment and set it down, where it rested for a week or so before I remembered that I had it.
I decided to take it with me that day to my classes. As I was sitting in the back of New Testament Theology, I pulled a piece out and placed it in my mouth and was instantly overwhelmed by the fruity, completely kiddishly good taste of zebra gum. I was feeling generous, so I offered some to my friend Kevin, who was sitting behind me. Judging by the smile on his face when he saw the kind of gum I was offering him, you would have assumed he was five and had just been told he was about to go on a trip to Disney world!
Now, if you were unlucky enough to grow up without the knowledge of Zebra Gum, I will take a moment to fill you in. Zebra gum is an extremely tasty (although short lasting) fruity gum that is striped with colors, like a zebra (think colorful juicy fruit for kids!), but on each of the wrappers are little wash-off tattoos! Awesome and fun and as kids we loved it.
A minute later I received a tap on my back from Kevin, who was now proudly displaying a surfing Zebra tattoo on his rather large and un-childlike arm. His face was a picture of pure glee.
I don't think people often realized the power of objects over us and our attitudes. I know a lot of studies have been done when it comes to music, and it is common knowledge that listening to happy music generally tends to put us in happier moods, and the same goes for sad music or exciting music, etc. No one plays The theme song to titanic at a wrestling match. It just wouldn't fit.
However, I think the same can be true of any object if we attach it somehow to a previous period. I heard a person once (although I don't remember who) talking about objects and about how we give value to them. People naturally give value to things, even if they are actually valueless. If my parents gave me a bike as a child...and I loved this bike and it was my first one, and then they died and it was the last thing they gave to me...that bike would have a newfound value to me, over and above it's actual value. Even though it was really cheap or it broke or someone offered me money for it, the value that I had personally given to it would overcome any monetary amount offered. If i saw a bike on the side of the road, even if it was the same make and model and size and color... it would mean nothing to me.
Now, that analogy can be said with any number of items for any number of reasons. A favorite toy, a watch that belonged to your dad and his dad and his dad before him, the first guitar you ever owned, a sweater given to you by your first girlfriend/boyfriend...whatever it is, we are all familiar with this, and now it is clear that what we are actually doing is adding value to things. (This idea can actually be extended even further..because humans do this to EVERYTHING, and not just emotionally. We add value to land by farming and irrigating it, value to mountains by mining them, value to building by improving them, etc)
But it doesn't stop there. Sometimes, when a culture is powerful enough, an entire generation or group of people can value the same thing for similar reasons. We see this all the time as well- how many college kids today remember the Power Rangers? Probably many of us. We have attached value to that show because it reminds us of our childhood. Whether or not that value is good or bad depends on the quality of our childhoods, but in any case, we have attached value to it.
Okay, so, back to ZEBRA GUM! How does this all connect to zebra gum and perception? Well, the truth is, often we don't realize when we make these value connections, and if someone is crafty enough they can use them to their advantage. Zebra gum is just one example. As a kid, if you were exposed to zebra gum, it can be assumed that you liked it and derived enjoyment out of it. If I carry around a pack of gum and give people pieces, they will no doubt grab a piece and enjoy it and quite possibly think better of me. However, if I carry around ZEBRA gum and offer people pieces, not only will they enjoy the gum, they will (at least for a moment) be taken back to their childhood. They will feel free and happy and innocent again, and they will (even though they might not know it) be indebted to me for those feelings. They will subconsciously, then, attach those good feelings of freedom and happiness and child-like joy to me, the giver of it. I am now in their good graces.
This concept can also be exploited in other ways by the crafty nostalgia-ist. Having a hard time making conversation? See if you can connect with something that you both experienced as kids...a t.v. show, movie, card-playing craze or sports hobby. With any luck, you will uncover a powerfully strong and positive memory of their childhood, and along with forming a common bond, they will subconsciously realize they were indebted to you for bringing it up. Want to go a step further? You could even go so far as to bring something of that nature with you to said occasion. If you have one, tuck a yo-yo into your pocket and practice a few walking the dogs before you walk out the door. Is it a short (paved) distance that you are going? Ride a Razor scooter there. Have anything with a Nickelodeon star on it (like Doug or The Rugrats or Ah! Real monsters!)? Wear it! The nostalgia-ist is always on the lookout for new avenues to the past.
This has been an extremely long blog, going from silly to semi-serious and back to silly again....but if you made it all the way through I congratulate you! Happy Nostalgia-ing!
Sincerely,
James | | |
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